The difficulty in finding love that is good for you stems from the same difficulty you have loving yourself. For those who believe in God or a higher power, to not love yourself is to not love the very source of your existence. To not trust yourself is to not trust the source of all life. To not forgive and have compassion for yourself is to not have forgiveness and compassion for others created from the same source. What is this source? Call it what you will, all matter comes from energy and all energy comes from Source. Leave the scientists and religious thought leaders left to their devices to try and explain that. You focus on your relationship, to self and to source.
As we become more fully embracing of ourselves, having the intimate relationship that acknowledges the dark and light of who you are, you will bring more love into your life. Loving is vulnerable and the challenge is to be vulnerable to oneself first. It’s a scary place to go. After all, we’ve all heard enough criticism and judgement from others throughout our lives about who we are, what we do wrong, and what we don’t accomplish. When you have a dear friend who is being so self-critical, do you encourage and affirm that criticism or do you remind them that they’re human just like everyone else? Do you tell them to be gentle with themselves, thereby empowering them to try again? As I recall, I didn’t just hop on a bike the very first time and start riding like a pro. It took some practice and a few falls and scrapes. For that matter, after years of riding a bicycle, I still managed to have some rather nasty falls and run into parked cars when I wasn’t looking.
If you’ll be that supportive in your expression of love and compassion to another person, why wouldn’t you give yourself the same courtesy? Owning your power is to not give it up, to not give it away. Keep working it, keep learning, keep falling, keep picking yourself up, keep laughing, and keep going. Life’s just like that, so find the humor, the joy, the laughter and say piss-off to failure. Failure only happens when you give up completely. Tiredness is something you create through negative thinking and self-criticism. Find energy in your optimism and your thirst for adventure and the journey of learning that life brings to you.
It’s a question of perspective. It’s all in the vibe baby.